By Benjamin Sabin
“Being pushy isn’t nice,” said Colleen. Colleen was both pushy and not nice, which was why she could say such things.
“Well, now, Colleen, I don’t agree,” said Randy. Randy was the best at not agreeing, so he excelled in this avenue.
“Stop it Randy. Stop disagreeing. I mean it. Stop right now.” Colleen waited for Randy to respond, but decided she wasn’t done yet. “You are the dumbest person I know, Randy. You are an idiot.”
“You are wrong, Colleen, dead wrong,” said Randy. “You are wrong, because you aren’t right. Do you hear me, Colleen?”
“I saw your wife yesterday, Randy,” Colleen knew his weak spot. She knew Randy quite well, which was why his spots were so evident to her. “She looked terrible. And when did her nose get so big? Has it always been so big? Most people get nose jobs to make them smaller. Did she get a nose enhancement? Did she, Randy?”
“What you have said about my wife is not true. It’s just not true. See,” said Randy. He had retrieved an old photo of his wife from the 80’s. Her nose was the same. “Take a good look. I think you will see that you are wrong.”
Randy was right.
“I was not right, but I was right to say that your wife looks terrible. Ugh, when was the last time she got a makeover? Defiantly not since the eighties.” Colleen pushed up her sleeves and moved closer to Randy. Her heart was beating quite quickly.
“She has gotten a makeover since the eighties, that’s for sure,” Randy laughed, because he wasn’t sure if this was true or not. He looked at the picture and decided that possibly this wasn’t true, but resolved to stay in disagreement.
“Well, Randy, you are a horrible man, that is for sure.”
“That’s not true, but what is true is that you are a bitch.” Randy moved closer to Colleen.
They stood as close as noses could get without passing into something more passionate.