By Rachel Wagner

When you’re dating for food, you have to act interested and not interested at the same time. That means a lot of eye contact, but no late night phone calls. No good morning texts either. You don’t want to act too appreciative, but you should be yourself. If you can manage that, you’ll have the right balance to make it work for a while.

And when he stops by your work study job around lunchtime, say “So, where we going?” He’ll twist his head a little and say something like “Oh, you wanna go on a mini date, I see.” He’ll say that with a grin. You’ll twist your swivel chair behind the front desk of the library and say, “Maybe.” He’ll take that as a yes. You’ll take your break real quick and walk with him to the pizza place on Broad Street. You might not want to sit and eat, but it’s polite to do that. And it might help show him you’re eating with him and not off him.

When you see him on campus in between classes, he’ll probably be on his way to chill in the commons or outside. You can find a way to angle the conversation towards the cafeteria instead. If you tell him that’s where you were heading, he’ll probably ask if you want some company. Grab a few things. He’ll follow you around waiting to pay. You can put everything down on that metal plate by the cash register, a salad a water a cookie, and he’ll slide his card before you can even begin looking in your empty purse. You can both sit and do homework until you’re done eating.

When you go to the movies together, walk right towards the snack spot in the middle after he gets the tickets. Letting him pay makes him look good in front of people, so you can order a bunch of shit. He’ll hold all of it proudly as you make your way to your seats. You can put your feet up and munch away in the dark while he watches the movie. All your empty bags and boxes and stuff can sit in the seat next to you. You can even stash extra candy in your pockets for home too.

When he invites you over his house in the middle of the day to try and seal the deal, tell him you haven’t eaten yet. His mother might have made rice and beans and chicken, at least. He’ll go downstairs and warm it up while you sit on his bed atop the ruffled sheets. You can look around a little bit, but you shouldn’t get up. You’ll hear him coming up the stairs with the food in his hand, and then he’ll pass it over. The ceramic plate will burn your hand, but you’ll shovel that spoon into your mouth until you’ve eaten so much that he stops and says “Oh, you were really hungry. I had put extra for me.”

That’ll be the last time you two hang out.