This is the room where you tore your own throat out and left wet pulp dripping down the embossed roses of the wallpaper. This is the room where your screams started and didn’t stop; where you screamed until blood poured from your lips. This is the room where you finally screamed your mother away from the television.
…Jesus Christ why is she screaming like that can you shut her up what did you do to her stop that screaming or I’ll give her something to scream about…
This is the room where you screamed the blinders off the neighbors, where you screamed the sirens into wailing down your street.
This is the room the police only glanced inside and went away after asking if you were okay.
…such a dramatic girl fell down the stairs only a bruised knee but the way she carries on you’d think it was a broken leg and everything’s fine thank you for checking…
This is the room where the dolls had eyes, but everyone else was blind. This is the room of the kicked in nightlight, of the glare of the streetlamp off his glasses. This is the room where the Jeopardy theme music meant it was almost over because she’d finally turn off the TV. This is the room where you learned to stop screaming or speaking because nobody heard the sound of your voice over the cacophony of their own denial.
This is the room that followed you to college, to failed relationships, to your first, your second, your third suicide attempt, the room where you prayed to God to let one of you die and when God finally answered, you thought you were free.
This is the room you slept in when you came back for his funeral, where afterward, you sprawled in your old twin bed, listening to the theme music from Jeopardy and praying your mother wouldn’t come in to talk to you.
This is the room you never left.
I heard you – but didn’t do nothing. When I was sorry, it was too late.
This is deeply sad, Finnian, and entirely gripping.
Thank you so much
God. This undid me.
This haunted me.
Powerful, in that frustrating way because that room should exist only in fiction, our eyes should see past the curtains of assumption, and our ears should know the voice of pain.
Wow! Well written! So haunting and touching!
Devastating, powerful, so well written.
Amazing the emotions and images you can instill with so few words. So powerful. I’m crying.
Thank you for sharing your feelings about the story with me. I’m so glad you were touched
This is a very deep story. There is a lot beyond the surface. The struggle of the protagonist, her internal wars and the seek for rest and freedom. Very mind blowing.
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment!
You are welcome. If you have any other stories, I’d be willing to check them out.
I will be submitting more. 🙂
Awesome. I’ll be looking forward to it.
A courageous, unrelenting exploration of the emotional wounds the protagonist carries inside her. Your work gives me courage to attempt the same with my own protagonists. Thank you, Finnian.
You can do it. And thank you so much.
Such beauty in such sorrow. This gave me goosebumps, Finn. Truly a hauntingly beautiful work.
“This is the room where the dolls had eyes, but everyone else was blind.” The poetry in your prose is truly wonderful and full of wonder. I loved every word.
I appreciate your thoughts so much.
So chilling, your words gave me goosebumps.
I appreciate your feedback. Thank you!
screaming mother away is like trying to be a martyr for Father…
The window is not stuck; push harder; don’t be a wimp and sissy.
That was the room where he pushed so hard that his hand went through the glass, and he was proud that he made no sound as the blood poured down. For a moment his Father loved him for being strong. But a bandage ended that, and forever anger continued without love for either.
I felt that. I lived it. I can’t breathe.
Fabulous imagery. I hope this story gives people courage and determination to “leave the room.” Thanks for writing.
Reminds me of what I once learned from a gifted therapist: “I need to have my nightmares. I need them to help me find my way.”
Finnian, this is amazing. Haunting and that last line is perfect and so powerful. I loved it.